Still Contrived

(To the tune of Portal's ending theme 'Still Alive')

That was a failure.
He's making a plan now:
RUN AWAY!

It's hard to coup de grace
a watchful dragon.

Peter and Grayson:
They do what they must
because they're broke.

To advance all of the plots
except the ones that make sense.

But there's no sense stepping
into every plot hole,
you just keep on letting
the humour take control.
And the Ls are O L
and R O F as well,
though the plot it may be
still contrived.

I'm not even angry...
I'm being so confused right now -
even though you forgot Alan,
and killed Pawl.

And what happened to Vern?
And why didn't Peter just eat the cows?
As they burned I laughed because
of frozen mountains next door.

Now Grayson's glowing sword
is apparently fire.
Their own rules are ignored;
the priest must be a liar.
So I'm glad they got lost -
random treasure explains cost -
but this series remains
still contrived.

Go ahead and Hand Wave...
I think I'd prefer the mystery...
Maybe you'll find something else less likely?
Maybe that show LOST?
That was a joke! Haha! You're worse!

Anyway these eps are great!
They're so amusing and neat!

Look at me still talking
when there are nits to pick.
I've ideas in chalking
and your story doesn't stick.

I've new episodes to view -
oh wait, that last bit's not true -
just a fanfic that is
still contrived.
And believe me it is
still contrived.
Peter's competence is
still contrived.
It actually makes more sense but
still contrived.
The season's ending and it's
still contrived.
When it's over it'll be
still contrived.
Still contrived.
Still contrived.