Peter The Ranger's Theme Song

Verse 1
Some people like to work to earn their keep,
others steal from whomever they meet.
Such work brings some people to a tear,
when they'd rather be drinking a beer.
For a change instead of having a long moan,
they go to one who lots of treasure he does own.
Why should they have to earn a honest pay,
when instead a dragon they could slay?
Yet there's a reason Peter should not be boss,
YOU FUCK, YOU GOT US FUCKING LOST!

Chorus
Peter the ranger, he's a ranger,
but a really pathetic, half-arsed ranger.
Peter the ranger, he's a ranger,
but you don't want to ever have to have him lead you ho-ome.

Verse 2
If you want to travel through a forest,
taking a road or path, that would be best.
But why not take a short cut through the trees?
(but try not to get confused by the poison ivy.)
If you need a rest it's best to call a halt,
drinking some stream water and munch on some salt.
If you ever think that you just might be lost,
just take a close look at the moss.
Follow Peter and you'll be right as rain,
WE'RE FUCKING BACK AT THE FUCKED CAMP AGAIN!

Chorus

Interlude
Yeah, yeah, yeah ho-me...
Peter the ranger, he's a ranger,
such of a ranger, more of a danger...

Verse 3
Through forest, ice, cave and hot dry sandy land,
remember to keep a reference map at hand,
and a supply of missiles close by at your belt,
so that you're great presence is felt.
If you ever come across an enemy,
dance around until they get confused and leave.
If leaving any cavern is your one true wish,
try kneeling and talking to a nearby fish.
but if your starving and seem to be stuck,
WE'RE FUCKING OUT OF FUCKING FOOD YOU FUCK!

Chorus

Interlude

Chorus fading out