Neverending Pie

(To the tune of American Pie, by Don Mclean)

A long, long time ago,
I can still remember how we followed a map from Pawl.
And I knew if we met again,
That I'd demand a refund then,
And maybe we'd find our way after all.
But Stonemountain made me shiver,
With every mouthful from the river.
Laundry on the cave floor;
I couldn't drink any more!
And I can't remember if I cried,
When I read that Pawl the Dwarf had died,
But he looked so CUTE with wings inside!
The day lost was defined.

So bye, bye, fighter and ranger guy,
Walked to the wishing well, but the wishing well was dry.
Alan's drunk on whiskey and rye,
Singing this'll be the day that I- *THUMP*

Did you read the Art of War?
'Cause Peter's never read before,
Because hot chicks noticed him so.
And do you believe in kicking rocks?
Can you find your way with growing moss?
And can you reach Ator faster than real slow?
Well I know you bought way too much salt,
'Cause it seems that we're broke by default.
It's really something to savour,
Yeah, I dig that pepper flavour!
I was a fresh teenage ranger to-go,
With big plans and a bigger nose,
But I knew I'd fallen far too low,
The day lost was defined.

And I was singing:
Bye, bye, fighter and ranger guy,
Walked to the wishing well, but the wishing well was dry.
Alan's drunk on whiskey and rye,
Singing this'll be the day that I- *THUMP*

For 21 days we've been on the trail,
And I'm dangerously low on ale,
But in the Hero's Bar that shall be rectified.
The goblins danced to themselves inside,
In nothing but their leather hides,
And voices that have been modified.
To slay a dragon would be bold,
The aim to steal fifty thousand gold.
Fame and fortune would be grand,
After crossing all this sand!
And while the knights told daring tales,
Alan got got drunk from many ales,
Poppy made plenty of sales,
The day lost was defined.

We were singing:
Bye, bye, fighter and ranger guy,
Walked to the wishing well, but the wishing well was dry.
Alan's drunk on whiskey and rye,
Singing this'll be the day that I- *THUMP*

Friggin' lost in the city of Stonefrost,
Is a glowy sword worth the cost,
When it's cursed with a voice?
Amiee's found some more great deals,
With stolen gold they were a steal!
For real arrows we'll rejoice.
Kingsleaf grows up in the trees,
Next time could you remember please?
Chafing can be a bitch,
Not to mention the itch.
Well as we tried to reach Ator,
Wondering what Peter summoned for,
Do you believe the dragon lore?
The day lost was defined.

We started singing:
Bye, bye, fighter and ranger guy,
Walked to the wishing well, but the wishing well was dry.
Alan's drunk on whiskey and rye,
Singing this'll be the day that I- *THUMP*

Our plans require a quick revision,
I immediately regret this decision,
With no time left to avoid this strife.
Douglas be nimble, Vern be quick,
Or Ator will be in quite a stick,
From bags of salt that somehow obtained life.
And as Andrea took the stage,
She struck Ronald's bodyguard with rage.
No obstacle or test,
Could stop her in her quest.
As Daniel the Destructive took her side,
You can not run, you can not hide,
I saw Mother laughing cruelly inside,
The day lost was defined.

She was singing:
Bye, bye, fighter and ranger guy,
Walked to the wishing well, but the wishing well was dry.
Alan's drunk on whiskey and rye,
Singing this'll be the day that I- *THUMP*

I once dated a girl from Galana,
She turned out to be a bit bananas,
She just swore and ran away.
I went down to a crab juice store,
Where I'd payed for a meal once before,
But the woman said that we couldn't pay.
And in the streets Connor still played,
Rainbow prowled and Lorraine stayed,
But not a word was spoken;
The fourth wall had been broken.
And the three that I quested for:
Fame, fortune and women whore,
Could be the last I ever saw.
The day lost was defined.

And they were singing:
Bye, bye, fighter and ranger guy,
Walked to the wishing well, but the wishing well was dry.
Alan's drunk on whiskey and rye,
Singing this'll be the day that I- *THUMP*

They were singing:
Bye, bye, fighter and ranger guy,
Walked to the wishing well, but the wishing well was dry.
Alan's drunk on whiskey and rye,
Singing this'll be the day that I fly!

*THUMP*