<(^_^<) The Legend of Smil (>\_/)>
Part I: What This Story Isn't
This is a story, that is not a story.
It is beyond a story.
It is a legend!
That is conveniently being told in story form.
Although it in itself is not a story.
Even if the form it takes may appear to be so.
For no mere mortal could truly comprehend the full complexity of the legend.
In fact, any attempt to do so would overwhelm the mortal so much that he - or she - would go instantly mad.
You see, I mention she because I wouldn't want to give the impression that this was a male-dominated legend, or indeed, even aimed predominantly at males.
And that fact that 'he' was in fact mentioned prior to 'she' is purely coincidental.
They could not, after all, both be present at the same moment, because to do so-
{>\_/}>--o
????: GET ON IT WITH IT, MORTAL!
Well, sorry. I'm just trying to make the point that this legend is neither biased towards males nor females, nor is it a story though it may be presented in such a way that alludes to-
{^\_/}>--o ~~~ Zap!
... Was that supposed to do something?
{^\_/}>--o ~~~ Zap!
{^\_/}>--o ~~~ Zap.
{^\_/}>--o ~~~ Zap?
...Um...
{v{}_‹›}>--o
????: How does thou resist my magic?!
I'm the narrator. I have complete and utter control of this story and everything in it. Should I chose to present this story in such a way that does NOT involve you blasting me, it will be done. So you can just shut up and stay down.
{v;_;}>--o
????: But I'm... I'm...
Not even if the story until Part IV. So PIPE DOWN or I'll make it Part X!
{v._.}v
????: I'll be good.
Good. Now, where was I?
...
Damn it. Now you've gone and made me lose my track... Something about gender ambiguity... Ah, forget it. Moving on...
This is a Smil:
(>o_o)>
Smil: Hello.
This is a Gorb:
:-)
Gorb: I am a Gorb.
This is a story about Smil.
(>^_^)>
Smil: Yay!
This is not a story about Gorb.
:-(
Gorb: Aww.
This is the Legend of Smil.
<(^_^)>
(>^_^)>
<(^_^)>
<(^_^<)
<(^_^)>
Smil: I get a legend! Whee!
This is NOT the Legend of Gorb.
(:-)
Gorb: I'm a Smil.
... No you're not.
(:->
Gorb: Yes I am! Lookie!
(:->
(:-<
(:->
(:-<
(:->
Gorb: See! I can dance too!
... This story features numerous Smils.
(>o_o)> (>o_o)> <(o_o<) <(o_o<)
Smils: Though we are many we are one for we all share in the one dance.
(>o_o)> (>o_o)> <(o_o<) <(o_o<)
<(o_o<) <(o_o<) (>o_o)> (>o_o)>
(>o_o)> (>o_o)> <(o_o<) <(o_o<)
<(o_o<) <(o_o<) (>o_o)> <(o_o<)
(>\_/)> (>o_o)> <(o_o<) (>;o_o)>
Smil: HEY! He's out of tune! Get him!
- -(>\_/)> - -(>\_/)> - -(>\_/)> - - - -(>O_O)>
This story features no Gorbs whatsoever.
>:-(
Gorb: DAMN IT, STOP MOCKING ME!
>:-( v(o_ov)
>:-( v(o_ov)
:,-(<(o_ov)
*WHAP!*
Thank you, Smil. Now, Smils live in a wonderful and happy place called Asdfgh. And by 'wonderful' I mean 'full of wonder'. And by 'full of wonder' I mean 'full of evil'. Oh, and by 'happy' I also mean 'apparently cursed'. And by that I mean... well. That would be telling now, wouldn't it? And we'd like to keep at least SOME semblance of a plot, so that can just wait to revealed in due time.
(>o_o)>
Random Smil: What do you mean cursed?
You can wait until the time is right to reveal that particular plot device.
(>o_-)>
Random Smil: But by 'cursed', you mean...?
I'll tell you in due time.
(>-_-)>
Random Smil: You don't actually know, do you?
Of course I know. I'm the narrator! I know everything about this story! I have plans! Plans, do you hear me, PLANS?! Of the detailed variety!
(>^_^)>
Random Smil: Oh yeah, prove it! Tell me what you mean!
No.
(>O_o)>
Random Smil: Tell me! Come on! What does it mean! PA-WESE!
Go [bleep] yourself.
(>O_O)>
(>O_O)>
(>;_;)>
Random Smil: YOU MAKE PUPPIES CRY!
So. Let's recap. Smils:
(>^_^)>
Smil: Got a legend!
And Gorbs...?
>:-(
Gorb: I hate you so much.
Who is the mysterious guy with the staff?
What does 'cursed' mean?
What the [bleep] IS a Smil, anyway?!
All this and more, in the next part of The Legend of Smil!