<(^_^<) The Legend of Smil (>\_/)>
Part XV: Because I Said So, That's Why!
Previously, on the Legend of Smil:
<{‹›_‹›;<}
### (>-.-)> (>\_/)>--%"/\"%--<(O_O)> (>\_/)> ~~~~~
Dan: THE MEAT IS BURNING!
This time, on the Legend of Smil:
<{-_-<}
### (>o.o)> (>ô_ô)>--%"/\"%--<(O_O<) (>b_d)> ~~~~~
God: Yes, yes that's CLEARLY the most critical thing for the readers to recall.
X: What?
God: *sigh* Never mind.
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>\./)> (>ô_ô)>--%"/\"%--<(>_>)> (>\_/)> ~~~~~
Sneak: Look, what the hell do YOU want?
X: Indeed. You have some nerve to appear in front of us now after having effectively ruined all our lives at some point.
Dan: This is MY steak and you're not having any at all. So there.
<{‹›_‹›;<}
### (>-.-)> (>ô_ô)>--%"/\"%--<(O_O)> <(b_d<) ~~~~~
Dan: Oh crap, THE FLAME IS TRAVELLING UP THE STICK!
Sneak: Oh for the HATE of god...
(vo.o)> <{‹›_‹›<}
### *poof* (>ô_ô)> %"/\"%--<(O_O)> <(b_d<) ~~~~~
*snap!*
(>o.o)v <{‹›_‹›<}
### (>ô_ô)> %"/\"%--<(O_O)> <(b_d<) ~~~~~
*snatch!*
*poof* <{‹›_‹›<}
### (>o.o)> (>ô_ô)> %"/\" <(o_o)> <(b_d<) ~~~~~
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>n.n)> (>ô_ô)>%"/\" <(\_/<) <(-_-<) ~~~~~
Sneak: Five gold says X can't do that.
Dan: Phew, that was a close... HEY! You stole my STEAK!
X: Ten says Sneak can't set Dan on fire.
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>o.o)> (>ô_ô)> "/\" <(o_O<) <(b_d<) ~~~~~
Sneak: ... Hey, Dan. I dropped your steak in the fire.
Dan: What? No!
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>o.o)> (>ô_ô)> "/\"(-_o<) <(b_d<) ~~~~~
Dan: ...That's strange, I don't see...
<{‹›_‹›;<}
### (>^.^)> (>Ô_ô)> "/\"<(O_O<) <(-_-<) ~~~~~
Dan: ARGH! MY ARM IS ON FIRE!
<{-_-<}
### (>n.n)> (>\_/)> "/\" ^(;_;<) <(b_d;<) ~~~~~
Sneak: You owe me ten gold.
X: Screw that, he set himself on fire.
Dan: Owie, owie, owie!
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>o.o)> (>\_/)> "/\" <(o_O<) <(b_d<) ~~~~~
Lora: Have you no compassion?! Somebody put him out!
God: You mortals are crazy.
Dan: Dear lord, now my eye is red!
####################################
<{*_*<}
### (>o.o)> (>ô_ô)> "/\" <(^_^<) <(b_d<) ~~~~~
Dan: Hey, the fire warmed my arm up again! Now it's not numb even a little bit!
####################################
' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' <{‹›_‹›<}
### '(>o.o)> ' '(>ô_ô)> ' ' './\.' ' <(o_o<)' ' '<(b_d<) ~~~~~
*tshhh...*
<{‹›_‹›;<}
### (>\./)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>o_o)> (>\_/)> ~~~~~
Sneak: Great, now I'm soaking wet.
X: Gees, I could target an Acme rain spell more accurately than that!
God: But... but... I just saved Dan! Don't I get any thanks?
No. No, you don't.
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>9.9)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>o_o)> (>b_d)> ~~~~~
Lora: Look, what is it you have 'blessed' our presence for, my 'lord'.
God: I have a task for you to carry out, one of grave importance.
Sneak: Oh this ought to be good.
<{<_<<}
### (>o.o)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>o_o)> (>b_-)> ~~~~~
God: You must journey to... uh... I think it's the city of SomewhereElse. There lies a great and powerful artefact that has probably by now fallen into the hands of a Smil that may, or may not, be evil.
X: For someone who is supposed to be omniscient, you don't sound too sure of yourself.
God: Shut up. This artefact, known as the Holy Staff of Nivera, must be retrieved before it can be used for evil.
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>o.o)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>o_o)> (>'O_d)> ~~~~~
X: The Holy Staff of Nivera?!
God: Yes.
X: THE Holy Staff of Nivera?!
God: Yes.
X: No really, the actual Holy Staff of NIVERA?!
God: YES.
<{-_-<}
### (>o.o)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>o_o)> (>b_d)> ~~~~~
X: Never heard of it.
God: Great, now I'm going to have to explain it aren't I?
Lora: I do not intend to divert from my own quest without a legitimate reason and explanation.
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>\./)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>O_o)> (>b_d)> ~~~~~
Sneak: Hold on. It's enough that I've got to go on this stupid 'quest', I'm not damn going off to run errands for somebody!
Dan: I'm already ON a quest! You can't be on two quests at once!
<{‹›_{}<}
### (>\./)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>O_o)> (>b_d)> ~~~~~
God: What the heck? I'm GOD! I created the world, and everything in it! I'm hardly just 'somebody'!
X: So? I see no reason to delay the completion of this 'quest' and my reward just for some trivial staff.
<{-_-<}
### (>9.9)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>o_o)> (>b_d)> ~~~~~
God: You really haven't heard of the Holy Staff of Nivera, have you?
X: I have seen no reference to such a staff in my studies.
Lora: I admit I have not read widely on such matters.
Sneak: No. I bet you just made that up on the spot.
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>o.o)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>^_^)^ (>b_d)> ~~~~~
Dan: Oh, oh! Pick me, pick me! I know!
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>O.o)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>^_^)> <(b_O'<) ~~~~~
X: YOU know something I do not? I find that hard to believe.
Dan: My dad told me about it once. The Holy Staff of Nivera was a powerful magical staff made by the first ever Smil to fight the nasty Gorbs!
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>-.-)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>^_^)> (>b_d)> ~~~~~
God: Although that is barely a part of the full story.
X: Well, go on then. Tell us of this staff.
Dan: Yay! Another story!
Sneak: As if we hadn't had enough of these lately...
God: During the aftermath following the Great Mistake, when Smil were just beginning to populate Asdfgh, the Gorbs had already begun to pose a threat to what left remained of the world. While not at it's peak, their destructive magic had begun to have deadly consequences for the Smil and Asdfgh.
(>o_o)> <(o_o<)
Smil #1: So, this dirt is pretty dirty, huh?
Smil #2: It sure is.
- - -:-p
(>O_o)> *BOOM!* <(o_O<)
Gorb: Whee!
(>\_/)> <(u_u<)
Smil #1: Great, now it's even MORE dirty!
Smil #2: We're never going to grow anything at this rate.
God: There was one Smil of the time more powerful with magic than any other, as powerful even as most Gorbs. A young Smil, known as Nivera, he had claimed to do things with magic others had thought impossible. To control the weather across the whole globe at once, to instantly travel from location to location without taking a single step, to even breaking the very time barrier itself.
(>O_0)> <(-_-<)
Nivera: No, really, I can travel through time using magic!
Smil: I don't believe you.
Nivera: I knew you were going to say that!
God: Nivera did have a tendency to exaggerate though. In any case, he was powerful, but not powerful enough alone to defend against the Gorbs. For once Nivera put aside thoughts of glory and called from across Asdfgh twelve other Smil with powerful magic, known later as Nivera's Companions, to meet together in the grand city of Grandcity
________
|Grandcity|
########° [>u_u]> <(o_O<)
Mage: You call THIS a grand city?
Guard: Did you forget we're recovering from a nuclear fallout? Let's see you build a grander city.
Mage: Yeah, okay, fair point. I probably couldn't.
God: Several moons had passed before all were gathered, but once together Nivera announced his plan - to combine their magic together to create a single powerful weapon that alone could do what all all thirteen could not do together - defend against the Gorb's deadly magic.
(>o_o)>– (>o_o)>– (>o_o)>– (>o_o)>– –<(0_0<)
Nivera: Okay, so are we all ready to combine our magic into the sword?
(>u_u)>– (>O_o)>– (>?_?)>– (>\_/)>– –<(-_-<)
Mage #1: Sword? WHAT?! I thought we agreed upon a spear!
Mage #2: A spear? That's just stupid. Nobody uses spears!
Mage #3: Wouldn't it make more sense to use a distance weapon, anyway?
Mage #4: Wait, why are we even using a weapon? Wouldn't a magical item make more sense?
God: For days the arguments continued, until eventually Nivera overruled his Companions and decided on a compromise - instead of a single weapon, the combined magic would be split across a trinity consisting of a sword, bow and staff.
(>-_-)>– (>-_-)>– (>-_-)>– (>O_o)>– –<(u_u<)
Mage #1: But what about the spear?!
Mage #2: Will you shut up about the spear already?
God: Nivera and his Companions cast continually all the magic they could muster for thirteen hours from sunrise to sunset, combining and focusing the magic, melding and working it together. And the end of the thirteenth hour all the Companions were exhausted and could continue no more, but still Nivera was determined to continue, working alone into the night, until at the stroke of midnight he too could continue no longer, and alone he split the flows into the trinity of weapons, sealing and connecting them.
(>*_*)>– v(~_~v) v(~_~v) v(~_~v) v(~_~v)
(>0_0)>– v(~_~v) v(~_~v) v(~_~v) v(~_~v)
(>\_/)>– v(~_~v) v(~_~v) v(~_~v) v(~_~v)
Nivera: What?!
God: I'm just trying to break up the flashback, gees.
(>O_0)>– v(~_~v) v(~_~v) v(~_~v) v(~_~v)
Nivera: Yeah, sure that's... Wait... I'm in a flashback?! Then I really have broken the time barrier!
God: Hmm, I think I may have just created one too many continuity problems there.
Mental note to self: Do not trust God to narrate a flashback ever again.
God: Anyway, the next morning the Companions awoke to find Nivera asleep and before him the completed weapons of their combined work.
(>~_~)>– |) +–– --o <(<_<<) <(o_o<) <(o_o<) <(o_o<)
Mage #1: Heeey... You don't think he'd mind if we just...
(>~_0)>– |) +–– --o <(._.<) <(o_o<) <(o_o<) <(o_o<)
Nivera: Don't make me Eflam you.
God: Initial testing proved that the weapons were incredibly powerful, more so than even Nivera had anticipated.
(>0_0)>--o <(O_O<)- - - >:-D- - -
Smil: Help! HELP!
Nivera: Quick, duck!
/|\
(>\_/)>--o *KA-ULTIMA-BOOM!*
(>O_0)>--o
(>0_0)>--o
Nivera: Well, [bleep].
God: The Holy Staff of Nivera, the Holy Sword of Nivera and the Holy Bow of Nivera were not just ordinary weapons, although they could function as such. The Sword could be used to unleash a lightning fast flurry of slashing death, the Bow to fire arrows faster and more accurately than the greatest archer in the land, and the Staff to club people really, really painfully. But in each weapon rested a portion of the powerful magic, woven into the weapon's essence such that even the unskilled could learn to draw more from the power within than most mages could from the entire cosmos, even if that power was more limited in the use.
(>;_;)>|) <(-_-<)
Mage: Aw, why can't I used the Bow to do the sweeping?
Nivera: Just... just... no.
There was more. Apart the magic was powerful, but not enough to defend against a multitude. Only when used together, the three portions of the magic again combined, was the true power of the trinity unleashed. Not only could the three sources merge and draw from each other to multiply the amount of power available to the wielders tenfold, but the true purpose of the spells made available: The ultimate defence against the magic of the Gorbs and what was previously thought impossible - the power to seal off and destroy forever an individual's magical powers.
(>o_o)>|) >:-D *ZAP-BOOM!* - - -(>O_O)>
(>o_o)>|) - >:-D *ZAP-BOOM!* - - -(>O_O)>
*twang*
(>o_o)>|) >:-( *ZA-nothing* <(o_o;<)
*thunk*
(>o_o)>|) :-/ *nope, still nothing* <(o_o<)
(>n_n)>|) :-S *not even a little thing* ––+<(\_/<)
Gorb: [bleep].
God: Nivera and his two closest Companions, later known as Nivera's Blessed, strode into battle wielding the trinity. Together they turned back armies of Gorbs, protecting Smils and rendering hundreds of Gorbs all but harmless.
*nothing* *nothing at all* *not one thing*
*nothing here either* (>o_o)>+–– (>o_o)>|) (>0_0)>--o >:-( >:-( >:-( >:-( >:-( >:-( >:-(
*no things* *ka-nothing* *wow, nothing, huh?*
(>o_o)>+–– (>o_o)>|) (>0_0)>--o :-/ :-S :-O :-/ :-( :-| :-(
Gorb #1: You know, it's times like this I can't help thinking maybe, just maybe, we could have skived just a little on our magical training to learn at least the basics of physical combat.
Gorb #2: Yeah. Yeah, maybe that would have been a good idea, in retrospect.
Gorb #1: Here's another one. Let's get the [bleep] out of here, right now.
Gorb #2: I agree.
God: For a time Nivera and his Companions were heroes among Smil. Until one day, Nivera vanished.
(>n_n)> <(0_0<)
Fangirl: Oh my god, it's Nivera! I want your babies!!
(>O_o)>
Fangirl: Wha...?!
God: Uh, that's not QUITE how it happened. But after one large battle against the Gorb, Nivera was simply not to be found. Nobody knew what had happened to him - the Smil could not could believe he had perished, and his body was not among the dead in any case, but he was gone and till showed one way or another it was for good. Worse still, with him had gone the Holy Staff of Nivera. Without the trinity complete, the Smil lost the one advantage they had had. Nivera's Companions were blamed and shunned, and as Gorbs attacked again the weapons were forgotten, to drift from legend to myth, and from myth to story, and from story to nothing but a forgotten tale. But still the weapons remained.
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>-.-)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>o_o)> (>'O_O')> ~~~~~
Sneak: And this staff just happens to resurface in SomewhereElse. Uh-huh.
God: In truth the Holy Staff of Nivera was found buried and hidden some time ago by King Bob the 1st, but that is another story. The point is, the Staff must be kept out of the wrong hands before any discover it's powers.
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>o.o)> (>;ô_ô)> ./\. (>o_o)> (>'O_O')> ~~~~~
Lora: And, uh, is there a particular reason you can't just do that yourself? It's not like you're GOD or anything.
God: The magic wrought in that time past is more powerful than you realise. Even separated from the true combined spell, it resists such powers as my own.
Lora: You're GOD. I'm fairly sure omnipotence would include being able to override such magic.
<{<_<<}
### (>o.o)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>o_o)> (>'O_O')> ~~~~~
God: In any case, the Mother Cockroach is no easy target, even for such as yourselves. Using the Staff, very few evils alone could stand against you.
Lora: ... I am beginning to see your reasoning, although I still object to this blatant intervention, and your previous mistreatment of my companions.
God: Bloody hell, you mortals are never happy. Would you rather I just let you be sacrificed?
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>o.o)> (>-_-)> ./\. (>o_o)> (>'O_O')> ~~~~~
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>o.o)> (>?_?)> ./\. (>o_o)> (>'O_O')> ~~~~~
Lora: Uh... X, are you okay?
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>o.o)> (>?_?)> ./\. (>o_o)> (>'O_O')> ~~~~~
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>o.o)> (>?_?)> ./\. (>n_n)>(>'O_O')> ~~~~~
*poke*
<{‹›_{}<}
### (>9.9)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>._.)> <('O_O'<) ~~~~~
X: I MUST HAVE THIS STAFF!
Lora: Perhaps, but the delay before we reach the Mother Cockroach may-
X: I *WILL* HAVE THIS STAFF!
Lora: I find it unlikely anybody without prior knowledge could possibly discover-
X: WE ARE LEAVING TO RETRIEVE THE STAFF, NOW!
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>O.o)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>;_;)> <('O_O'<) ~~~~~
Dan: But my feet still hurt...
Sneak: You DO realise the sun has set, right?
Lora: Surely we should at least wait until we have eaten...
X: RIGHT NOW!
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>o.o)> (>o_o)> <('O_O'<) ~~~~~
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>o_o)> (>o.o)><('O_O'<) ~~~~~
<{‹›_{}<}
### (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>O_o)> (>\./)> *Shove!* ~~~~~
*SPLOSH!*
<{‹›_‹›<}
### (>o.o)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>?_?)> *poof* ~~~~~
<{-_-<}
### (>9.9)> (>ô_ô)> ./\. (>n_n)> <(b_d<)~~~~~
*Splash.*
X: Thank you. I needed that.
Sneak: You're welcome.
God: You mortals really are crazy.
Will our 'heroes' venture after the Holy Staff of Nivera?
Just how crazy are those mortals?
Are you sick of flashbacks and back-story yet?
All this and just one more flashback (I promise) (For now) (But it's only a short one), in the part of the Legend of Smil!