The Legend of Smil

<(^_^<) The Legend of Smil (>\_/)>

Part VII: Behind Enemy Lines

Previously, on the Legend of Smil:

v(ŏ_ŏv) <-_õv

Mayor: You mean to tell me you think this wizard, Xenawhateverhernamewas, may actually be able to *kill* Her.

Barkeep: I know it's a long shot. But it might be the only chance we have.

(vX_xv) <[u_u<] <[\_/<]

Guard #1: Great. now we have to CARRY him.

Guard #2: Son of a-

This time, on the Legend of Smil:

Some time later, the two city guards have finally managed to haul our four 'heroes' back to the Mayor's house. Unfortunately it seemed the guards had hit them just a *little* too hard, and so they sneaked the four down into the basement and left them tied up there. Some time later, our 'heroes' awaken...

(o_o) (b_d) (o.o) (ô_ô)

Dan: Owwie...

X: My head...

Sneak: Gah...

Lora: Ouch...

(O_o) (\_/) (o.o) (?_?)

Dan: Wait... where are my arms?

X: Whoever tied me up like this will SUFFER.

Sneak: This is unexpected.

Lora: Hmm. I wonder if this was what God was talking about?

(O_O) (\_/) (-.-) (ô_ô)

Dan: MY ARMS HAVE DISAPPEARED, WHERE ARE THEY?!

X: Nobody delays my cosmic domination. Nobody.

Sneak: Perhaps stealing that plate mail wasn't such a good idea after all...

Lora: It does seem rather unfair to be tied up when I agreed to accompany the guards.

(;o_o) (b_-) (^.^) (ô_ô)

Dan: Oh wait, they're tied behind my back. Phew, that's okay then.

X: If I could just reach my wand...

Sneak: Next time I'll just take their great sword.

Lora: I suppose if it of an important matter someone shall come to untie us soon.

(;_;) (n_n) (u.u) (ô_ô)

Dan: I can't help but get this feeling nobody is listening to me...

X: Got it. But the only the spell that could free me of these ropes would be... damn it. *sigh* Eflam.

Sneak: Bored now. Time to escape.

Lora: Ah, here comes a guard now.

(o_o) (b_d) (u.u) (ô_ô) <[o_o<]

Guard #3: Hello. I am terribly sorry for this inconvenience, but the Mayor was quiet determined to see you all.

Lora: Excuse me, but I agreed to come of my own free will. Could you please untie me?

(o_o) (b_d) (u.u) (ô_ô) <[o_O<]

Guard #3: But... that would be breach of strict protocol! I must reprimand the culprits!

Lora: Yes, but first could you please...

(o_o) (b_d) (u.u) (-_-) - - -

Lora: *sigh*

(O_o) ('O_O') (o.O) (ô_Ô)

X: OHGODTHEPAINISUNBEARABLEIHATEACMESOMUCH!!!

(^_^) (>b_d)> (o.o) (ô_ô)

*snap*

X: I suddenly feel guilty for ever casting that spell on anybody, ever.

Dan: That is still so cool.

Lora: Excuse me, could you please release me also?

(o_o) (>o.o)> (ô_ô)<(b_d<)

*freed*

X: Fine. But ONLY in an attempt to subdue my sudden excess feelings of guilt.

Sneak: Okay, those were the *worst* knots I have ever seen. I'm out of here.

Dan: Hey, uh, I don't suppose...

(o_o) (>o.o)> (>ô_ô)> (>\_/)>

*untied*

Lora: Thank you.

X: Okay. Guilt subdued. Now I demand some explanations!

Lora: Indeed, I wonder what the Mayor wants to see us for?

(o_o) (>o.o)>

Sneak: I wonder if these guys have any decent valuables lying around.

(o_o)

Dan: Uh... guys? Little help here?

And... cut to the Mayor.

(>õ_õ)> <(ŏ_ŏ<)

Mayor: I don't know, I mean, I think he was better when he was just the random-guy-with-a-staff.

Barkeep: But come on, God! How cool is that!

Mayor: It's just not the same now. He's just another-

Uh, guys, you're on.

(>O_O)> <(Ŏ_Ŏ<)

Mayor: What?! What happened to our five minute warning?!

Barkeep: DEAR LORD WE'VE UNINTENTIONALLY BROKEN THE FOURTH WALL!

Mayor: Quick! Contingency plan zero-alpha! I repeat, override to contingency plan zero-alpha!

[>o_o]> [>o_o]> [>o_o]>

*clank, clank, Clank, Clank, CLANK, CLANK!*

v[o_o]v v[o_o]v v[o_o]v v[o_o]v v[o_o]v v[o_o]v

*ka-turn*

v[@_@]> v[@_@]> v[@_@]> v[@_@]> v[@_@]> v[@_@]>

4th Wall Patrol: *YOU SAW NOTHING!*

[>o_o]> [>o_o]> [>o_o]>

*CLANK, CLANK, Clank, Clank, clank, clank.*

(>O_õ)> <(ŏ_Ŏ<)

Barkeep: What. The. [bleep].

Mayor: I though zero-alpha was just ignore it and pretend it never happened...

Barkeep: It is...

(>o.o)> (>b_d)> (>ô_ô)> <(õ_õ<) <(ŏ_ŏ;<)

Lora: Hello, Mayor, Barkeep.

X: What is God's name was that racket?

Barkeep: NOTHING. It was nothing.

Mayor: Ducky also agrees it was nothing.

<(>.><) (>'O_d)> (>ô_ô)> <(õ_õ<) <(-_-<)

X: Ducky?

Barkeep: Don't ask.

Lora: So, if I may ask, why have you, uh, forcibly invited us into your home?

<(<.<<) (>b_d)> (>ô_ô)> <(?_?<) <(ŏ_ŏ<)

*ka-steal*

Mayor: The truth is, I have requested your presence in the wake of a dire... Wait. Didn't the guards bring in four of them?

Barkeep: Hmm, I thought they did.

In the basement...

(o_o) r~

Dan: Oh look! A rat!

(^_^) r~

Dan: It must have come to bite through my ropes and save me!

(O_O)r~

*bite*

Dan: THAT'S NOT A ROPE!

Out of the basement...

(>o.o)> (>\_/)> (>ô_ô)> <(õ_õ<) <(ŏ_ŏ<)

Mayor: Eh, I probably just made a mistake. That whole 'counting' thing is overrated anyway.

X: Enough of this! What is it that you have brought us here for? And this had better be good or SO HELP ME GOD I am going to hurt you so bad.

Barkeep: Okay. I'll be blunt. For the last year Smilville has been in constant danger and only-

(>o.o)> (>b_d)> (>ô_ô)> (>\_/)> <(-_-<)

Mayor: I'm sorry, WHO'S the mayor here?!

Barkeep: ...

Mayor: Yeah, that's right, little boy. I'M the Mayor! And don't you forget it!

(>;o.o)> (>;b_d)> (>;ô_ô)> <(^_^<) <(ŏ_ŏ<)

Mayor: Okay, now listen up young 'uns. The Mayor is going to tell you a story!

Sneak: I'm leaving.

[>o_o]>+==> <(u.u<) (>;b_d)> (>-_-)> <==+<[o_o<] <(\_/<) <(ŏ_ŏ<)

*ka-guard!* *ka-guard!*

Mayor: I SAID the Mayor is going to tell you a story, and tell you a story the Mayor is going to. Now you can sit down and listen like good little children or I can tie you up again with DUCT TAPE and let's see you break out of THAT!

Sneak: I'm staying.

X: Duct tape?! Not even my most powerful magical spells could break out of that!

Lora: I think you might be going a bit overboard, Mayor.

[>o_o]>+==> (>o.o)> (>b_d)> (>ô_ô)> <==+<[o_o<] <(õ_õ<) <(ŏ_ŏ<)

Mayor: Great! Now it all began many years ago, in the time of Human...

What is the dire scenario are our heroes being requested to help with?

What undoubtedly exiting and dramatic story will the Mayor be telling?

Will anybody remember Dan down in the basement?

All this and more back-story, in the next part of the Legend of Smil!