<(^_^<) The Legend of Smil (>\_/)>
Part IX: No Shadowing More Fore
Previously, on the Legend of Smil:
[>o_o]>+==> (>o.o)> (>b_d)> (>ô_ô)> <==+<[o_o<] <(\_/<) <(ŏ_ŏ<)
Mayor: DAMN IT you you young whippersnappers will DO AS YOU'RE TOLD! Now you can quit your bloody whining and get your butt out there and SLAY that Mother Cockroach or you're all banished from this city FOREVER!
This time, on the Legend of Smil:
(>õ_õ)> <(ŏ_ŏ<)
Mayor: Phew, those boys finally left. That was a pain.
Barkeep: Two of them were female, actually. And what do you mean, that was a pain?
(>n_n)> <(ŏ_Ŏ<)
Mayor: Well, that's three, uh, four less annoying people in our city! This deal with the Mother Cockroach allows us to get rid of all those naughty boys.
Barkeep: Girls, too. And are you telling me that whole 'only you can save us' speech was just complete crap?!
(>9_9)> <(\_/<)
Mayor: Aduh. Nobody can *really* kill the Mother Cockroach.
Barkeep: You... corrupt... bastard. Lora was right. The people should know about this facade.
(>\_/)> <(\_/<)
Mayor: If you so much as utter a word about this, you'll regret you were ever born. Don't forget WHO'S the mayor here.
Barkeep: ... This will not go unpunished.
(>^_^)> <(-_-<)
Mayor: Ducky says it will.
Barkeep: I hate you.
(>^_^)> <(-_-<)
(>n_n)> <(-_ŏ<)
(>õ_õ)> <(ŏ_ŏ<)
(>O_õ)> <(ŏ_Ŏ<)
Snakeeyes: STOP!!
- - -(>1_1)> <(õ_õ<) <(ŏ_ŏ<)
Snakeeyes: Mayor! Barkeep! You have to stop them!
Barkeep: Uh, what?
(>1_1)> <(õ_õ<) <(ŏ_ŏ<)
Snakeeyes: Those you have sent out to defeat the Mother Cockroach! You have to stop them RIGHT NOW!
Mayor: Why? If we don't send the sacrifices...
(>1_1)> <(õ_õ<) <(ŏ_ŏ<)
Snakeeyes: Forget that! I have had a dark and terrible Vision...
Barkeep: What was your vision?
(>1_1)> <(õ_õ;<) <(ŏ_ŏ<)
Snakeeyes: The four you have sent must be stopped! I have Seen their futures, and they are cloaked in darkness and evil.
Mayor: Ducky doesn't get it.
(>@_@)> <(õ_õ<) <(ŏ_ŏ<)
Snakeeyes: The one known as 'X', she shall seek a dark and terrible secret, but what she seeks for with good intents shall be found with evil only. The one named 'Lora', in her darkest hour shall her dark heart rise and claim the life of an ally. The one known as 'Sneak', he shall become the envoy of darkness and with but a word will both save and betray the only one for which truly cared. The one named 'Daniel', only in his ignorance will he discover the ultimate truth, but too late, too late...
(>1_1)> <(õ_õ<) <(ŏ_ŏ<)
Snakeeyes: And for your listening convenience these prophecies have been arranged in direct chronological order.
(>1_1)> <(õ_õ<) <(ŏ_ŏ<)
(>>_>)> <(n_n<) <(u_u<)
Barkeep: Have you been drinking again?
Snakeeyes: I... may have been.
Mayor: I liked that story! Tell it again!
(>O_1)> <(n_n<) (>u_u)>
Snakeeyes: I mean it! You have to stop the four before it is too late! I really mean it!
Mayor: Heh, heh, heh... Four be four. That's maths.
Barkeep: I'm out of here.
Meanwhile, our four fated 'heroes' ready themselves for their adventure...
(>^_^)> (>o.o)> <(b_d<) <(ô_ô<)
Lora: Right, I suggest that before we leave, we should take the time to say goodbye to our families and prepare ourselves for the journey. I propose that I shall organise and be in charge of any food supplies for our journey, and Xenafoebean... and X shall be in charge of any camping and travelling equipment we may need. Aside from those two things, we shall be each be responsible for our own items.
X: It is agreeable.
Dan: Bring some chippies!
Sneak: Can't we just kill some animals and eat them?
(>O_o)> (>o.o)> <(b_O'<) <(ô_Ô<)
Sneak: What? You eat steak.
(>o_o)> (>o.o)> <(b_d<) <(-_-<)
Lora: Let's just go. We can meet back here later.
X: It will take me at least an hour to fully prepare my magical repertoire for travel, and I shall still need to gather the equipment after.
Lora: The four of us will regroup in two hours then.
(>^_^)>r~ (>-.-)> <(b_d<) <(-_ô<)
Dan: Five!
Lora: What do you mean, five? Two, or perhaps three at most hours should be sufficient...
Dan: I mean, don't forget Ratty! He's coming too!
Sneak: Why are we bringing the moron again?
(>\_/)>r~ (>o.o)> <(b_d<) <(ô_ô<)
Dan: HEY! Ratty finds that offensive!
Lora: Indeed! You shouldn't insult other people's pets!
Sneak: That's not who I was... oh, forget it.
Lora: Haven't you ever had a pet YOU loved dearly?
Sneak: Uh...
Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na FLASHBACK!
(>^.^)> (=<
Sneak: Oh Cindy, how I wuv you so!
Cindy: *hiss!*
Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na THAT'S-ENOUGH-OF-THAT!
(>o_o)> (>;.;)> <(b_d<) <(ô_ô<)
Sneak: But she never came back...
X: What?
Sneak: NOTHING. Never mind. Let's go.
(>o_o)> *poof* <(b_O'<) <(ô_ô<)
X: How does he do that? I desire this power.
Lora: He claims to be a ninja.
(>^_^)> <(-_d<) <(ô_ô<)
X: Strange. Ninjitsu is a purely physical skill, but I sense a magical presence around his departure...
Dan: I wonder if he could teach me how to do that?
X: I somehow doubt that. For multiple reasons.
Later, X prepares herself for the upcoming quest...
(vb_d)v |+|+|+|
X: Hmm. With the notable exception of Eflam, it has been some time since I have truly cast from my pool of offensive magical spells. Considering the nature of the task ahead, I should probably bring some tomes should the need to refresh my memory on any be required.
(v-_-)>|+|+|+|
X: If only all these tomes weren't from Acme, I would hardly need any further spells from Eflam at all... Curse my prior foolishness in purchasing such worthless [bleep]!
Due to the amount of negative attention Acme Corporation has been receiving, we have been advised by our lawyers to now interrupt your usual lack-of-storyline to bring you these messages...
(>o_o)> <(u_u<)
Acme Worker: Are you sick and tired of generic spells that just don't seem as cool as when you were in first year Wizardry?
Graduate: I am. I truly, truly am.
(>o_o)> <(n_n<)
Acme Worker: Don't you wish YOU could have more interesting, unique spells like those Master Magicians?
Graduate: Yes!
(>O_o)> <(^_^<)
Acme Worker: Don't you wish YOU could impress your buddies and lure the chicks with new spells customised to your very need?
Graduate: Yes. Yes!
(>O_O)> <(O_O<)
Acme Worker: Don't you wish YOU could purchase nearly infinite variations and modifications instead of dull old generic spells?!
Graduate: Yes, GOOD LORD YES!!
(>O_O)> <(o_O<)
Acme Worker: Don't you wish YOU were a butterfly?
Graduate: YE- Wait, what?
(>n_n)> <(-_-<)
Acme Worker: Heh.
Graduate: Just get on with it. I don't get paid by the hour you know.
(>;o_o)> <(-_-<)
Acme Worker: Well now YOU can! Each and every Acme Spell Tome is carefully selected and modified for 'awesome coolness' and 'maximum kickarsery'... TO THE EXTREME!
Graduate: (What the hell.)
Acme Worker: (Don't like at me. It's in the damn script.)
(>b_d)> o-<(o_o<)
Acme Worker: So, Professor, what is your informed and respected opinion regarding Acme Corporation's new Spell Tomes?
Professor: Yes, well, statistically the danger involved in the mere reading of these said tomes is intolerably-
(>u_u)> o-<(o_O<)
Acme Worker: EXTREME! So, there you have it.
(>^_^)> <(;_;<)
Graduate: Delayed magic? It's perfect for hit and runs!
Nerd: I just wish had been smart enough to buy Acme Spell Tomes. Now my magic is old, boring and worthless.
(>^_^)> (>^_^)> <(^_^<)
Groupies: We love you!!
v(^_^)v v(^_^v) v(^_^)v
All: AND WE LOVE ACME SPELL TOMES!
v(^_^)v v(^_^v) v(^_^)v v(o_o)v
Nerd: Conditions apply. Variations to spells may be differ to those shown in commercial. Acme Spell Tomes are sold 'as is' and any damage occurring due to improper use of contained spells, proper use of contained spells, reading of contained spells or merely being within the immediate vicinity of a Acme Spell Tome at any given time is not the responsibility of Acme Corporation.
(>u_u)> <(-_-<)
Acme Worker: That's it, I'm quitting.
Graduate: Not if I quit first.
Meanwhile, at Sneak's not-exactly-secret-but-rather-excessively-trapped hideout...
(>n.n)> □+#####
Sign: [Keep Out.]
Sneak: Hee-hee-hee.
(>o.o)>+#####
*open*
(vo.o)v+#####
*click*
| *ZAPKAPOW!*
(>^.^)>- - - /|\+#####
*ka-uber-dodge*
*enter*□+#####
(>o.o)> +!/\##+& *stuff* *assorted stuff*
Sneak: Hmm... Let's see...
(>?.?)>+!/\##+& *more stuff* *other stuff*
Sneak: What stuff could I use on this stupid 'quest'...?
(>o.o)>+!/\##+& *lots of stuff* *piles of this stuff*
Sneak: Hmm...
(>o.o)>+/\#&?<> *I'm not kidding about this stuff* *seriously*
*takes some stuff*
(>n.n)> +/\#&?<> *OMG stuff* *I can't be stuffed...*
Sneak: X's magical protective amulet: check. Lora's gloves of agility: check. A cow: check...
Further quest preparation?
The Barkeep and Snakeeyes' intentions?
Three meaningless questions?
All this and three big checks, in the next part of the Legend of Smil!