<(^_^<) The Legend of Smil (>\_/)>

Appendix I: Characters

NOTE: This page is still work in progress. Obviously I will continue to add further characters as they are introduced into the story, but also because there are still some things about the characters that have yet to be revealed (for example, there is a whole chunk of back-story for the 'heroes' coming soon...)

Dan

(>[]o_o)>+––

Quotes: "I will quest for milk!", "For great justice!", "That was SO cool! Do it again! Do it again!"

Dan (full name: Daniel) is the son of a moderately wealthy farmer. Although Dan has spent his life growing up around the farm, he knows very little about it. Actually, he knows very little about anything. Dan is often stupid and immature, but always has good intentions and a good sense of humour - when he manages to get the joke. Dan was told by his father that a wall fell on his head during his childhood, resulting his mental deficiency. Dan is also illiterate, but very energetic and always wants to off on a 'quest', proclaiming the battle cry 'For great justice'. He is often seen carrying a sword and shield, having learned to defend himself after being briefly thrown in jail for nuisance.

X

(>b_d)>–

Quotes: "*EFLAM!!*", "Soon, ultimate cosmic power will be under MY domination!", "I truly hope that irony was unintentional."

X (full name: Xenaphobianationbloodspellonionring) is a reclusive wizard. She is female, although due to her egotistic nature, short temper, and concealing glasses she is often mistaken otherwise. X is generally very intellectual and strong at magic (partly due to her powerful wand she carries around) but is hindered by her poor supplier of tomes (Acme). She seeks more and more power, her eventual goal being to obtain ultimate cosmic domination, with the hopes of becoming divine and doing far more good for the world than God himself has ever been able to. X's parents were killed at her birth by Necro, and due to her poor diet in childhood she quickly became resistant to almost all infections and disease.

Lora

(>ô_ô)>|)

Quotes: "This could be trouble, I'd better check it out.", "Get back here, thief! Guards! GUARDS!", "Mighty Lord, guide us all in our time of need. Amen."

Lora is a skilled archer who works for the protection and advancement of Smils. She has trained long and hard to be awarded a well crafted bow from Snakeeyes and granted permission to carry her weapon legally, which she uses to defend her town. Although she is female, she is no pushover, and is one of the most respected guards of Smilville. She is dedicated to her God, although less so after meeting Him in person, and can a bit preachy at times.

Sneak

(>o.o)>

Quotes: "Sucker.", "You've got to catch me first.", "I got your bow."

Sneak (real name unknown) is a cheeky thief who enjoys stealing and inciting others. During his past he was once part of the Shining Hands monk group as well as creating his own criminal  gang, the God Sucks Ninja. Sneak believes that God is a dick, all Smil are selfish and pathetic and that life has no meaning, although he used to be a good Smil in his childhood. He is incredibly skilled at stealth, dodging and stealing. Sneak thinks only of himself, and doesn't care at all for any consequences of his criminal actions.

Necro

﴾>ò_ó﴿>

Quotes: "Screw it, I'll just summon the devil or something.", "Hmm, let's see. Evil plots. Evil plots, evil plots, evil plots...", "MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

Necro (real name unknown) is an evil genius hell-bent on world domination. He is a powerful necromancer and demonologist, and knows other strong death-related magic, although his body has grown frail from disuse. Necro is hung up on being evil and chaotic, but still pays attention to the things like recent law and Smil culture, especially the Evil Genius Constitution. Necro loves and takes great joy in being evil, but hates it when his lessers contradict him, and will never admit that he's wrong.

Foggy

###

Quotes: "I'm sorry, who's idea was the magical fog again?", "Don't call me 'Foggy'. Is it that hard to think up a slightly more creative nickname?", "You know, I can't help but notice you still didn't answer-"

Foggy (real name unknown) is largely an enigma. He (or she?) is kept constantly hidden by Necro in a dark, concealing, magical fog. He is the most powerful and loyal of Necro's minions, but is not afraid to speak out against him and even occasionally breaks the fourth wall. He hates his nickname.

Luke

(>o_o)>

Quotes: "Adoptive father. You're my adoptive father. You killed my father, and then adopted me.", "But, uh, WHY do I have to summon an evil minion again?"

Luke is Necro's apprentice and was adopted by him when Necro killed his father. Luke studies and practises various evil activities, but does not enjoy (or understand) most of it in the same way Necro does. Luke is very strong and agile in fighting and has mastered most basic necromantic magic.

Gorb

:-)

Quotes: "I am a Gorb.", "DAMN IT, STOP MOCKING ME!", "I... will... be... in... this... story!"

An anonymous and annoying Gorb, determined to be in the story. He was quickly killed by God, but by a fluke chance was summoned as a minion by Luke.

God

{>‹›_‹›}>

Quotes: "GET ON IT WITH IT, MORTAL!", "Accept what comes your way with good faith, and all shall be rewarded in the end.", "You'd be lucky to get any FAN mail, let alone hate mail."

God is the, well, GOD. He created the world and watches over its inhabitants. Although he is worshipped as purely good, he also a harsh god and punishes sinners, becoming quickly frustrated at foolish and crazy mortals. He is jealous of the ultimate power the Narrator has, and has argued with him on many occasions.

Nathan

(>o-o)>

Quotes: "Stupid lousy sweeping. Stupid lousy chores. Stupid lousy broom."

Nathan lives in the small village of SomewhereElse. He was abandoned there as a child and order to be raised by the inhabitants as part of the agreements of a peace treaty between the village at the Leet Ninja, since they claimed he was to be involved in a great battle to come. This resulted in him being treated poorly and cared for reluctantly by the women's council, and Nathan grew up with considerably resentment towards both the village and the Leet Ninja.

Mayor

(>õ_õ)>

Quotes: "I find clothes a bit too confining, don't you?", "I know... how about I ask ducky?"

Mayor (real name unknown) is the elected mayor of Smilville, only winning the election after threatening to become a nudist if he didn't win. Mayor is getting a bit senile in his old age, and as such takes advise from a few select advisers, Barkeep among them. He often consults his rubber duck, Ducky, with whom he has a loving relationship.

Barkeep

(>ŏ_ŏ)>

Quotes: "What can I get you, my good... sir?", "Would you like fries with that?", "I should have won that election."

Barkeep (real name unknown) is the barkeep at the Near Beer. Although he owns and runs the tavern, he is also an adviser to the Mayor and privy to a number of his secrets. Barkeep ran in the last election, and quite frankly, should have won it. Barkeep knows of the Mayor's ignorance and corruption and is determined to usurp him.

Snakeeyes

(>1_1)>

Quotes: "I foresee no fries for me in the immediate future.", "I feel your infuriation.", "I foresee a serious arse-kicking in store for someone."

Snakeeyes is an old crone, both eyes scarred from a long forgotten engagement. He is very wise and is respected amongst Smils as a great scholar and prophet, although he is still poor and God has claimed he is a False Prophet. Having predicted a dark and evil future ahead of Dan, Lora, X and Sneak he's determined to stop them on their quest for their own, and the Smil populations, good. He's good friends with the Barkeep. Snakeeyes had a very abusive childhood from his mother.

Dan's Father

(>o_o)>

Quotes: "DAMN IT DANIEL!", "So I guess it's just you and me now, eh Bettie?", "What do you want? If Dan has done anything it wasn't my fault!"

Dan's Father (real name unknown) is, well, Dan's father. He has raised Dan from a young age and although he often gets angry at him is very protective of him. Dan's Father lives on a small farm but earns a reasonable living from it. He loves his cows, Bettie in particular, and takes very good care of them.

Bettie

/=P

Quotes: "Moo. *eats grass*"

Bettie is one of Dan's Father's cows, and his favourite. Bettie, like some other of the cows on Dan's Father's farm does not believe that she looks anything like a cows whatsoever. They also live in constant fear of the cry 'Steak' and attacks from Dan. Bettie was injured in an accident, and was taken to a hospital by Dan's Father. However, one particularly eager doctor got a bit carried away and decided to test out his idea of 'mechanising' a cow. Now Bettie is an advanced bio-cow with obscure powers such as being able to run super fast, the ability to sense the use of nearby magic, and password protection on her udder.

Guards

[>o_o]>        <[o_o<]

Quotes: "We really, really, *really* need some lighter armour.", "Also, you're under arrest.", "Without the codeword? Treason! The codeword must be said!"

The guards (real names unknown) are loyal Smils that protect and guard the mayor, hunt down thieves and keep the peace all over Asdfgh. They wear heavy plate mail armour, and each carry a massive great sword. Guards #1 and #2 patrol the streets of Smilville to keep them peaceful, but are rather unprofessional at times. Guard #3 is a personal bodyguard to the Mayor and very strict on protocol Guard #4 protects the borders of Smilville and is somewhat of an intellectual. There is also a contingent known as the 4th Wall Patrol to prevent and fix any breakings of the fourth wall, and several other contingents such as the 5th or 2nd Wall Patrols (the later of which are all females and generally regarded as 'hot').

Ratty

~r

Quotes: "*Squeak*"

Ratty is a rat that once infested in the Mayor's basement, but was tamed and befriended by Dan. Now Ratty follows Dan around, although occasionally he wanders off on his own.

The Narrator

Quotes: "I'm the narrator. I have complete and utter control of this story and everything in it.", "If I say you're a cow, you're a DAMN COW. Now MOO.", "Meanwhile, outside the tavern,"

The Narrator is the telling of the Legend of Smil. Being the one telling the story, he has complete and utter control over it - even more so than God himself. The Narrator is truly all-knowing, having an omniscient view of the story, past, present and future. So don't [bleep] with him.